Happy birthday, Samuel!

I can't believe he's here!  Samuel Stephen Bryan was born yesterday, September 22 at 11:10 A.M., weighing 8lb7oz and is 21 inches of handsome, studly perfection.  My c-section was scheduled for 10:30, and when we arrived, the nurses said they were having a busy morning, so I prayed and prayed our delivery wouldn't be delayed.  I got prepped by a few amazing nurses and an anesthesiologist, and they took me back to the O.R. around 10:30.  I felt pretty miserable until right before the rest of the delivery team (my OB and her assisting OB, nurses, anesthesiologist and his assistant, respiratory specialist, NICU neonatologist, and NICU nurses), Stephen, and my mom came into the O.R.  I was numb from the chest down, but I could feel my toes enough to wiggle them a little, which made me feel really claustrophobic because my legs wouldn't move.  The anesthesia made my heart race, and once the anesthesia hit my chest, I felt like I couldn't get a good breath, which made me feel really nauseated.  The anesthesiologist was so incredibly nice and did everything he could to make me feel better.  It didn't take long once the doctors got started on the procedure before a nurse said, "I see a head full of dark hair!" and Sam was crying.  CRYING!  I really expected him to struggle breathing on his own at first, and the sound of his sweet cries was so comforting.  The team checked him out pretty quickly, wrapped him up, and the neonatologist PALMED MY CHILD LIKE HE WAS A BASKETBALL to hand him to Stephen.  He got to hold Sam for several minutes and I could reach over to touch him.  

Stephen left with the NICU team and Sam, and my mom stayed with me.  It felt like it took a long time for them to finish up the procedure and get me to the recovery room.  I stayed in recovery for two hours, and then they wheeled me down to the NICU to see Sam.

Stephen stayed in the NICU with Sam and texted me updates as he got them from the doctors.  

Sam had a series of admission tests and exams that are typical for NICU babies plus an echocardiogram.  The doctors wanted to check and make sure there wasn't anything about Sam's development that was different from what they found in utero, and there wasn't!  Dr. Kao, the cardiologist, has been happy with his oxygen saturation.  Sam is breathing great on his own, has several monitors on him to check heart rate, respiration, and oxygen saturation, and is receiving IV fluids.  As of his noon feeding today, they are weaning him off his IV fluids as long as his blood sugars are good before each feeding.  I started pumping yesterday, and he received what I was able to produce plus additional formula, and I got to start nursing him around midnight last night.  

He was very sleepy in the middle of the night last night, but he still ate well.  Stephen's mom and my parents were able to visit today, too.

This baby is HAIRY!  I love his furry little back.

Sam and I FaceTimed with the girls this afternoon!  Oh my!  They squealed, asked to see his eyes (since he was sleeping), started kissing his face on the phone, and sang, "Sammy, Sammy, Sammy!"  Emory said, "Sam loves me."  I can't wait for them to see him in person.

We have had a great first couple days.  They will do a repeat echocardiogram tomorrow.  Dr. Kao said the VSD and pulmonary valve are of adequate size to not need the PDA to remain open, so it should be closing on its own like a typical newborn.  Pray with us that Sam is able to continue good oxygen saturation once the PDA is closed.  I'll continue updating as I can!

  

Sam's Nursery

So, I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd.  I reread the books in the spring for the sixth or seventh time, which made me really want to do a HP nursery.  When I told Stephen I wanted to do Samuel's nursery in a Harry Potter theme, he rolled his eyes and told me not to put a bunch of wizards on the walls.  

Here it is!

I found a nursery on Pinterest that used natural linen bedding and other neutral elements as the base for a little boy's nursery.  I had pinned the link to the nursery years ago and loved the peg board she used, so I had to borrow that idea.

 I love these pictures I found here on Etsy--they're advertisements for potions.

I found these here on Etsy also.  I think they're so cool!  The seller uses pages from real HP books and prints images that correspond with the chapters onto them.

My dad pieced barn wood together for me for the name sign--I am planning on framing a newborn picture of Sam onto it to fill in the blank space.  Harry's patronus was a stag, and when I found the gold deer head at Hobby Lobby, I knew I had to have it for the nursery!

I found the fabric for the sheet and blanket at Spoonflower.com.  This is an awesome fabric website--apparently you can have original images printed on fabric.  Too cool!

The fabrics on the blanket are from each of the Hogwarts houses.

I have two copies of the fourth book, and I tore pages out of one of them to make this wreath.  It kind of broke my heart a little to rip pages out of a book...

It was so fun pulling out the baby toys again, and the girls have loved playing with them already!

This is Sam's coming home outfit--can't wait to see him in it!

And apparently boys need far fewer clothes than girls--this is all we have besides a few onesies and footie pajamas.  Ha!

Two more days until we get to meet our sweet boy!!

I will be celebrating on Monday!

I've never fancied myself as a fearful person.  I was often called a "bull in a China shop" in my younger years.  About a year ago, I started feeling afraid about something happening to one of the girls--at the time I thought it was because Emory was getting old enough to really get hurt, or lost, or whatever.  Soon before the anatomy scan ultrasound with Sam, I started feeling crippling fear that something was going to happen to one of our kids, but I didn't know why.  My mommy heart was just kind of freaked.  The same sonographer has done the anatomy scan for each of my pregnancies, and every time she has told us she will do her part, and then go get the doctor to come in to look, so we shouldn't be worried when she leaves and comes back with the doctor.  Well, once she walked out to get the doctor, I remember thinking, "Something is wrong with the baby's heart."  At the time I didn't know why I had that feeling.

Since we found out about Sam's diagnoses four months ago, I have really been struggling with fear.  I'm afraid of how he will handle being outside the safety of the little bubble he's in now.  I'm afraid that I'll be an emotional wreck during his delivery and immediately following.  I'm afraid of how he'll recover after his surgeries.  I'm just afraid, and feeling this way has made me really angry with myself for not trusting the Lord more than I have.  I know He is faithful and knows the outcome of all of these situations.  I have seen His promises through scripture, testimonies, the songs we sing at church, everywhere since May, but I still haven't felt completely at peace.

I started MOPS at a different church this morning, knowing I'd only be able to go today before I'll be out for quite a while with Sam.  I am beyond thankful that I went today.  When I learned in April or May about this year's theme, "Be you, bravely," I thought it was kind of goofy and irrelevant to me.  The speaker this morning has two children with disabilities, and the entire focus of her talk was about being courageous and overcoming fear.  While she was talking, I realized my fears are coming from Satan.  He started these feelings over a year ago, when I didn't have an actualized reason yet to be fearful for my children.  The speaker told this sweet and hilarious story about the delivery of their son.  They found out around 30 weeks pregnant that he would be born with disabilities, and she started getting a lot of pity from doctors about their situation, but she wanted to make sure everyone celebrated his birth because he was beautiful and he was theirs.  Oh, how I needed to hear exactly this just four days before our sweet boy is here.  Thank you, Lord, for this truth this morning.  And get behind me, Satan, because on Monday I will be celebrating the birthday of our precious baby boy!    

Baby Day is Scheduled

Whew!  Yesterday was intense--we had doctor appointments all day and had lots of questions answered.  We stayed Tuesday night with Stephen's cousin and his wife--they live just a couple miles from the hospital.  We are planning on staying with them once I'm discharged from the hospital while Samuel is still in the NICU.  There have been so many things so far that have shown the Lord's provision for us, and being able to stay with them is one of them.

Our first appointment yesterday was with the perinatologist, Dr. Rinehart.  Everything about Samuel's heart has stayed the same since we first found out about his CHDs, which is the best possible scenario besides miraculous healing.  Dr. Rinehart tells us every visit that Samuel is tolerating the CHDs well, and the sonographers always comment about how much hair he has.  I can't wait to see what our little boy will look like!  He weighs around six and a half pounds right now, so he's on track to weigh about eight pounds at birth.

Next, we met with an RN at the Advanced Maternal and Newborn Institute, which is basically a support program for families with babies who require NICU care.  I preregistered for delivery, and then we toured Labor and Delivery and the NICU with the neonatal coordinator, who was amazing!  She answered all one million questions that we had and was so informative.  During the tour, we met with a neonatologist who is part of the team of NICU doctors that will care for Samuel while he's there.  I was not as overwhelmed as I anticipated, and I'm very thankful for the experience.  There are still many things we won't know about the course of Samuel's care until after his delivery, but it has been so helpful to see where he will be and talk to the doctors and nurses who will care for him.  Medical City has a separate area entirely devoted to babies and children with CHDs.  The doctors are anticipating that as soon as Samuel is stable enough, he will be transferred from the NICU to the CHD unit.  This is great because the nurses and doctors there work specifically with babies with CHDs.  Also, each room in this unit is private, and we will be able to stay with Samuel overnight.  The NICU pods are semi-private, and while parents are able to visit 24/7, they aren't equipped for staying overnight.

Our next appointment was with the cardiologist, Dr. Kao.  We hadn't seen her or had a fetal echocardiogram done in about six weeks, so I had one million questions for her, too.  The echo confirmed that nothing has changed about his heart, and Dr. Kao doesn't anticipate that he will need surgery immediately after birth.  Great news!

Our last appointment was with Dr. Walker, the OB who will deliver Samuel.  SHE IS AMAZING!  I wish she practiced in Tyler.  She is incredibly laid-back and willing to allow many of our special requests.  The remainder of my appointments (only two with each doctor.  HOLY COW) will be with Dr. Rinehart and Dr. Walker.

Cesarean delivery is scheduled for September 22 at 9:30.  I can't believe we're about to meet our little boy!  I'm frantically trying to finish his nursery.  My mom and SIL, Kim, are coming to visit this weekend.  Mama monogrammed his blanket top, and she will bring it with her, so I can finish the blanket soon.  Hopefully, I'll get the last few things done in his room this weekend so I can take some pictures!

Stephen and I are so thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who are so supportive and prayerful.  We are seeing the results these prayers!  Please continue to pray for us as we get ready for his arrival.  Emory's behavior has changed a little lately, and while Harper knows we're having a baby, she doesn't seem as affected yet about it.  Please pray that we will know how to prepare our girls for Samuel's addition to our family, and that the transition to three babies will go smoothly.  Being away from Emory and Harper while we're in Dallas is going to be very hard for me.  Also, pray for the doctors and nurses who will be caring for Samuel and me.

Checkups and a Name

The four of us went to Bertram July 3rd to hang out with my family for the holiday weekend.

We went bowling

Watched the fireworks

Looked precious sleeping

Made cookies for Captain

Then the girls stayed with my parents the following week because I had several doctor appointments over the past week. Also, I wanted to try to get a few things done around the house since I hadn't started working on the nursery yet.  I repeated the three hour glucose test last Monday and failed it this time, so I've been adjusting to checking my glucose levels four times a day and modifying my diet.  It hasn't been as hard as I first imagined.  

My sister-in-law, Sarah, asked me in December to make the baby bedding for our new niece...only seven months later, I finally got it done!  With finishing school, being pregnant, and finding out right after I graduated that the baby has CHDs, I had been a little swamped.  I'm so happy to have it finished and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out.

I got that done and started cleaning out the playroom and the girls' room while binge watching How I Met Your Mother to finally start getting the nursery ready!  Can I just say how thankful I am that instant streaming Netflix and smart phones didn't exist while I was in school?  I would have never studied.  

Stephen went to North Carolina for some training last Thursday through Saturday, so I had the house completely to myself which was WEIRD AND LONELY.  I realized my time limit away from the girls hovers around three days before I miss them painfully.  Stephen flew back into Dallas on Sunday, and I met him at the airport.  We had a mini-vacation in Dallas over the weekend, and I had doctor appointments Monday and Tuesday.  We went to the Rangers games Saturday and Sunday.  We sat between right and center field Saturday, so we had a great shot of the bullpen. 

And Friday we sat on the face of the sun eight rows up behind home plate for twenty minutes before I had to retreat to the shade. 

The seats were so hot that I couldn't put my arms on the arm rests because it was seering my flesh off.  Once we moved to the shade, we were fine.

I had an appointment with the cardiologist Monday afternoon.  Dr. Kao said everything looks the same as it did last time and the time before that, and she expects he won't need surgery immediately after birth.  I don't have to go back to see her for six weeks!  Tuesday morning we had an appointment with the perinatologist to do a growth ultrasound.  He's still growing great and tolerating the CHDs well, and his head is still huge.

Here's his sweet little profile:

His legs were stretched completely straight during part of the ultrasound and his feet were in my ribs, which sounds about right.

And this is a close-up of his heart:

The figure eight shaped part is the left side, which is fully formed.  The white line immediately above that is the septum, which separates the left and ride sides.  The triangle shaped dark spot right above that is the right side, which you can tell pretty clearly now is smaller than the left side.  Starting next week, I'll be getting biophysical profiles done on the baby every week--alternating between my OB's office here in Tyler and the perinatologist in Dallas.

During our little vacation we decided on a name!  Baby boy will be Samuel Stephen.  During the second time we visited the cardiologist about a month ago, Stephen looked up names with "heart" in their meanings.  Samuel means God's heart or asked of God, so it immediately went to the top of our list.  Emory asks me at least once a day, "Do you have a baby in your belly?  Is it my brudda?  What's him name?" and I'm SO happy to have an answer for her now!  I googled "Samuel Bryan" just to make sure there wasn't a serial killer out there with that name, and all I found was this guy:

so I think we're good.

 

 

Meeting the New OB

Yesterday, Stephen and I met the OB, Dr. Walker, who will deliver still nameless baby boy.  Her office is at Medical City, which was nice since we're already familiar with the hospital.  I had another ultrasound.  I'm 27 weeks pregnant now, and his head is measuring normal for 29 weeks--this kid has a big noggin.  He had hiccups during the ultrasound, which was really cool to watch and feel at the same time.  Then we met with Dr. Walker, and I really liked her!  She was very laid back.  She is having a baby next Monday but will be back to work in August before I need to see her again.  She was able to answer a few questions I had about the delivery, immediately after, and our stay in the hospital.  She, her nurses, Dr. Kao the cardiologist, and the NICU nurses will be in the OR during delivery in case the baby's oxygen saturation is low and he needs immediate attention after delivery.  As long as he is stable he won't have to be whisked off to the NICU right away, so we will get to see him for a little while. The baby will have to go to the NICU pretty soon after birth since he will need the medicine to keep his PDA open.  Dr. Walker said it's normal procedure for c-sections to keep the spinal block in for 24 hours, and patients get a pump to add medicine when necessary for pain.  That sounds like the worst thing imaginable to me--I want to be able to walk as early as absolutely possible for a number of reasons, but mostly so I can be with our baby!  Dr. Walker said I can refuse anything (SO happy she said this instead of some "well, this is what we typically do" kind of thing that I get from my OB here in Tyler), and I can get up as soon as I want.  I will be discharged as early as possible so I can spend as much time as possible with the baby in the NICU.  He will stay in the NICU for 7-10 days as long as he doesn't require the BT shunt, which the doctors won't be able to determine for sure until after birth.  I'm going to continue going to my OB here for my regular visits, and I won't have to see Dr. Walker again until the beginning of September.  That's actually nice because it will save lots of trips to Dallas once I have to start going every two weeks and then every week later on.

After the doctor, we went to Carter's to get some clothes for this baby boy!  

Here's the loot:

And here's the difference between what Mama chooses:

and what Daddy chooses:

Back to the cardiologist in two weeks!